top of page

Why Conflict Feels Good (Even When It Doesn’t)

Writer: Innerscape TeamInnerscape Team

Have you ever found yourself caught up in drama, even when you know it’s not the best thing for you? Does engaging in conflict feels kinda good? It turns out there’s a psychological reason behind why we sometimes crave conflict. Our brains are wired to react to tension because it releases dopamine, the "feel-good" chemical associated with pleasure. Studies show that around 60% of people experience a dopamine rush when involved in conflict, whether it’s a heated debate or a bit of drama.


Toy soldiers and vehicles on a colorful divided background of blue, yellow, and red. Orange and green figures appear in action poses.

This rush makes conflict feel exciting and engaging, often igniting a spark within us that can be hard to resist. It taps into our natural desire for stimulation, as human beings are inherently drawn to experiences that provoke strong emotional responses. In a world overflowing with distractions and mundane routines, the presence of drama and conflict can seize our attention like nothing else, creating a compelling narrative that is hard to ignore. Whether it’s through heated debates, intense discussions, or even the unfolding of personal disputes, the adrenaline that accompanies conflict can be exhilarating, providing a temporary escape from the monotony of daily life. It’s not merely about enjoying negativity; rather, it’s about the emotional energy that conflict generates, which can be both electrifying and captivating. The thrill of unexpected twists and turns in a conflict can evoke a sense of urgency and engagement that is often lacking in more serene, peaceful moments. However, while the rush feels great in the moment, it can leave us feeling emotionally drained afterward, as the intensity of the experience can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being.


So why do we keep seeking out conflict if it’s ultimately exhausting? This paradoxical behavior can be attributed to several factors. For one, the human psyche is wired to seek out challenges and confrontations as a means of growth and self-discovery. Engaging in conflict can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our values, prompting personal development and resilience. Additionally, the social dynamics of our relationships often play a significant role; conflict can serve as a catalyst for communication and connection, allowing individuals to express their feelings and resolve underlying tensions. Furthermore, in many cases, the aftermath of conflict can lead to a sense of relief or catharsis, where the resolution of issues brings about a renewed sense of clarity and peace. This cycle of conflict and resolution can create a complex emotional landscape that keeps us coming back for more, despite the exhaustion that may follow. Ultimately, the allure of conflict lies in its ability to evoke strong emotions, foster connections, and challenge us to confront our beliefs and relationships, making it a compelling aspect of the human experience.


The truth is, it’s a pattern our brains have learned to associate with excitement and connection. However, understanding this can help us make better choices. The next time you find yourself in the middle of drama, ask yourself: Is this excitement worth the emotional toll? You can still enjoy the highs without letting the lows take over.


Want to understand more about your own reactions and how you handle conflict? Take the Innerscape personality quiz to uncover the science behind your behavior and how you can use it to your advantage.

Innerscape: Discover your archetype through our Personality Test.

Disclaimer: Please use this website responsibly. All content is protected by copyright.

  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • X
bottom of page