You’ve probably been there. A friend vents about a problem, and before they’ve even finished, you’re ready with solutions. But when the tables turn, and someone gives you advice, your first reaction is to nod politely while thinking, “Yeah, no thanks.” Why is it so easy to dish out advice but so hard to take it?
Turns out, psychology has a lot to say about why we Love giving advice but hate taking it.
First, giving advice makes us feel good. Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania found that offering guidance can boost our sense of purpose and self-worth. It’s a power move, but not in a bad way. When we share our wisdom, we feel helpful, competent, and maybe even a little wiser than we actually are.
Taking advice, on the other hand, can feel like admitting we don’t have all the answers. That’s not easy for anyone. According to psychologists, being on the receiving end of advice can trigger defensiveness. Even if the advice is great, it can feel like someone’s questioning your ability to figure things out on your own.
Another reason we avoid taking advice is because we’re emotionally tied to our own problems. When you’re the one giving advice, you’re outside the situation, so it’s easy to see things clearly. But when you’re in it, emotions like fear, pride, or even guilt cloud your judgment. It’s like being stuck in a fog - someone else might see the way out, but you’re too deep in to trust their directions.
There’s also the matter of choice. When we hear advice, it can feel like someone’s taking away our freedom to decide for ourselves. Studies show that people are more likely to follow through on decisions they feel they’ve made independently, rather than ones handed to them.
So, what’s the takeaway? Giving advice is natural, and receiving it doesn’t mean you’re failing. The key is to listen with an open mind but also trust your instincts. Sometimes the best advice is a mix of what others tell you and what feels right for you.
Curious about how you handle advice and other quirks of your personality? Take the Innerscape personality quiz to learn more about yourself - you might just uncover some surprising insights!